I just, five minutes ago, got in my Upper Body Workout. It's a damn good thing I'm a born night owl, otherwise this exercising stuff would be even harder to fit in.
Today I realized how precious my time is. I was so wacky at work from lack of sleep (Andrew caught a minor cold and spent the night kvetching at/for me) that I practically insisted on knitting my way through my shift. Yeah, it's not so bad to be caught knitting on the job. It's not like I was lurching around, twirling batons that were lit on fire. That's next week.
I can actually knit without looking at my hands (sort of), and I was still running around, playing with the kids and being an involved employee, but I just had a ball of yarn in my armpit and an ever-lengthening scarf on my needles. I must be rubbing off on people, because no one even batted an eye at me. I just felt like I needed to do it, for my sanity. I don't even know if I can make it make sense to you, but I just feel like I run from one small fire/responsibility to another, and then poof, it's 1:30am again and I'm trying to resign myself to ending another day, getting a shorter amount of sleep than I wanted, so I can do it all over again the next day. I work, I parent, I knit for a sideline job, I knit for fun, I have to read something every day (no, really I do), and then there's cooking, cleaning, and exercising. The day is just not long enough...seriously, could we expand the day to about 30 hours--just the sleeping part? That would be grrrreeaaat.
Today I sort of didn't eat. I overslept for work, and in the rushing around to get out of the house to work/school, I just couldn't find the time to make a breakfast for myself. I packed extra food in the lunch bag to compensate, and I thought I'd eat once I got to work. All I ate, though, from waking up at 7:30am to about 8:00pm, was a cup of coffee and one cheese stick, and water. My appetite has been diminishing, but this is ridiculous. Andrew and I ended up visiting Steve at work (he works at Weaver Street Market--a kick ass natural foods store, for the uninitiated), and nothing started bothering me until we were leaving and there were baskets of "staffed" food, things that were free for employees. There were tubs of pimiento cheese, fresh fruit, cookies, and....cupcakes. I managed to hang on until we left and were in the parking lot. I then steered the car defiantly towards a Wendy's and got a burger and fries. However, I found I couldn't eat all of it. A few fries, about 2/3 of the sandwich, and I bagged up the remainder and threw it in the apartment dumpster so I wouldn't be tempted later. Progress, not perfection....
I am hanging on for the weekend. To not have to be anywhere by a certain time. I am looking forward to getting out on my own on Saturday night, and my men will have a boys' night in without me (yay!), and Sunday morning, where I will go again and leave the boys for an hour or two. Then it's back to the mines. But in the meantime, I pushed myself hard for my workout, and I will be sure to take time to eat and eat well tomorrow. I will see you then!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Day Thirty-Two...Greased Lightning!
Another day, another dollar. Well, no.
Pretty laid back day. Last night was wild, though. I was going to bed (late, again) and had just turned off the lights and was laying on my side, looking out the windows when there was this unbelievably bright greenish blue light and sizzling sounds and WHHOOOOMMMP, all the lights, all the electricity, were out like candles. As I laid there, feeling my heart rate climb (it doesn't take much), there was a flicker and then another seriously bigger flash and buzzing sound and then complete and utter silence. It was pitch black and I was sitting in bed like a scared little Girl Scout after ghost stories around the campfire. Seriously, I own up to it...I was s-c-a-r-e-d.
I'm one of those people that are wound a little tight. For example, when you're vacuuming and you're in the zone, spacing out, just hearing the loud drone of the vacuum, and then someone comes up behind you and taps you on the shoulder? You know, where you just about bust a lung yelping and you jump out of your skin? I'm wired like that all the time. Sometimes I just have that fight or flight reaction for no reason, just out of the blue. I hate it when I read about people likening adrenaline flowing through their veins like champagne, 'cause let me tell you, those prickly bubbles sting! So when the mothership (or whatever the hell it was) landed last night, I could feel the adrenaline prickling in the backs of my hands, in my throat as it closed over, and all over my back. I crept out of bed, trying to see in the dark and get to the flashlight. I know now what a complete city girl I am because, while I appreciate nature and a starry sky and deer and stuff, I never realized how dependent I am on ambient city lighting (stuff like streetlamps, stoplights, car headlights, etc). I felt like I could have poked myself in the eye and not have seen it. I called to Steve and asked him to come to me...like I was eight years old again. It was wild and humbling.
Steve and I (like a couple of ninnies) went outside with our flashlights and peered around the neighborhood to see how much of it was out of power. All of my neighborhood was completely out. It was as if flat black paint had been coated all over everything. There was no moon, no stars, just a steady, cloudy sky with a drizzling of rain. There had been no lightning, and I had heard no thunder at all. We guessed that a transformer or two had blown, and finally we got back into bed (with a candle for little ole me).
The power came back on in a few hours, and between that, and Andrew waking up two or three times in the night (water, company, breakfast at 4am), I am amazed I have any energy at all. Granted, coffee figured largely into my day. I love that stuff, seriously. Big huge fan of it. That's the crap that's flowing through my veins, thank you very much. But I didn't go running. Sue me, the mothership landed last night and sapped my strength for the day. I did eat well and have been productive in other ways, but I also did something funky to my left thigh muscles when I was lifting weights last night. It was just a twinge, but now I am noticing it when I climb stairs, and when I get up and move around after sitting for more than a few minutes. Since I had little sleep and have a twitchy weird leg, I decided to give myself permission to miss a workout this week. I had been figuring on having elusive perfect week. All workouts done, all meals well-made and healthy. When will I ever remember that little tidbit about life being about progress, not perfection?
Probably the day after I stop spouting adrenaline like a humpack whale spouts water. G'night. See you tomorrow!
Pretty laid back day. Last night was wild, though. I was going to bed (late, again) and had just turned off the lights and was laying on my side, looking out the windows when there was this unbelievably bright greenish blue light and sizzling sounds and WHHOOOOMMMP, all the lights, all the electricity, were out like candles. As I laid there, feeling my heart rate climb (it doesn't take much), there was a flicker and then another seriously bigger flash and buzzing sound and then complete and utter silence. It was pitch black and I was sitting in bed like a scared little Girl Scout after ghost stories around the campfire. Seriously, I own up to it...I was s-c-a-r-e-d.
I'm one of those people that are wound a little tight. For example, when you're vacuuming and you're in the zone, spacing out, just hearing the loud drone of the vacuum, and then someone comes up behind you and taps you on the shoulder? You know, where you just about bust a lung yelping and you jump out of your skin? I'm wired like that all the time. Sometimes I just have that fight or flight reaction for no reason, just out of the blue. I hate it when I read about people likening adrenaline flowing through their veins like champagne, 'cause let me tell you, those prickly bubbles sting! So when the mothership (or whatever the hell it was) landed last night, I could feel the adrenaline prickling in the backs of my hands, in my throat as it closed over, and all over my back. I crept out of bed, trying to see in the dark and get to the flashlight. I know now what a complete city girl I am because, while I appreciate nature and a starry sky and deer and stuff, I never realized how dependent I am on ambient city lighting (stuff like streetlamps, stoplights, car headlights, etc). I felt like I could have poked myself in the eye and not have seen it. I called to Steve and asked him to come to me...like I was eight years old again. It was wild and humbling.
Steve and I (like a couple of ninnies) went outside with our flashlights and peered around the neighborhood to see how much of it was out of power. All of my neighborhood was completely out. It was as if flat black paint had been coated all over everything. There was no moon, no stars, just a steady, cloudy sky with a drizzling of rain. There had been no lightning, and I had heard no thunder at all. We guessed that a transformer or two had blown, and finally we got back into bed (with a candle for little ole me).
The power came back on in a few hours, and between that, and Andrew waking up two or three times in the night (water, company, breakfast at 4am), I am amazed I have any energy at all. Granted, coffee figured largely into my day. I love that stuff, seriously. Big huge fan of it. That's the crap that's flowing through my veins, thank you very much. But I didn't go running. Sue me, the mothership landed last night and sapped my strength for the day. I did eat well and have been productive in other ways, but I also did something funky to my left thigh muscles when I was lifting weights last night. It was just a twinge, but now I am noticing it when I climb stairs, and when I get up and move around after sitting for more than a few minutes. Since I had little sleep and have a twitchy weird leg, I decided to give myself permission to miss a workout this week. I had been figuring on having elusive perfect week. All workouts done, all meals well-made and healthy. When will I ever remember that little tidbit about life being about progress, not perfection?
Probably the day after I stop spouting adrenaline like a humpack whale spouts water. G'night. See you tomorrow!
Day Thirty-One
I just got back from a walk in the rain, barefoot.
I have been having some negative thinking, and it was nice to get out, blast some music into my headphones, and stroll around my neighborhood barefoot, just feeling the cool puddles under my feet and mellowing out. God knows what my neighbors think, but I'm sure that'll be a post for another time.
I feel like I have finally had the first chance this week to sit down and write. Steve has been extremely busy this semester and has had to commandeer the computer for goofy stuff like homework and studying. I admit, I really missed being able to write, and I'm glad to be back up and running. That is, until the next round of tests and lab reports come around.
I finished my Lower Body Workout just about a half hour ago. My workouts seem to be occurring more in the evening, once Andrew is in bed and the house quiets down. I keep meaning to wake up early to do it, but hey, to thine own self be true. It just doesn't happen for me. Go figure.
Food has been going really well. My appetite has really diminished lately. For instance, I haven't felt like eating at all after dinner time, which is around 6 to 7 o'clock. I haven't been wanting to eat as much for my midmorning snack, either. I am pretty hungry at breakfast, and eat well for that and dinner, but even lunch has been a little scaled back. I'm not expecting this to last, but I am not pushing myself to eat when I don't feel like it, even if that means I don't get the full six meals I'm supposed to get on BFL. I figure, for each time I eat less food, that's more fat globules getting broken down for energy. I'm all about that, my friends!
I am going back to the Y tomorrow, on my day off, so I can try to sign up for the Pumpkin Run. It is in November (I think), and it's a short run, only 4k, which is something like 2.5 miles, I think (conversion chart, anyone?). I hope they haven't run out of slots for the race. I also signed up to donate blood, but that won't be until October 29th. I hope I (A) remember and (B) actually show up. Sometimes it seems like a good idea way before I get there, and then I remember stuff like how I feel faint when I give blood, that it's kind of a hassle, and that I have a two-year old and won't that be fun to hang out with him after! Oh well, I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
My friend Liz wants me to try this other aerobics class that is tomorrow. It is not the one where I am forced to do the pony and the cha-cha for minutes on end, but it is a dance-based workout class. Liz tells me it is loosely based on dancing. I feel compelled to check it out, in a car-wreck-can't-look-away kind of way, and at the same time, do I really want to spend an hour in this class? I'll decide in the morning.
I am gonna go hit the showers and get ready for bed. I am glad I have had such a productive week this week. I have hit all my workouts and have eaten really very well all week. I will see you tomorrow!
I have been having some negative thinking, and it was nice to get out, blast some music into my headphones, and stroll around my neighborhood barefoot, just feeling the cool puddles under my feet and mellowing out. God knows what my neighbors think, but I'm sure that'll be a post for another time.
I feel like I have finally had the first chance this week to sit down and write. Steve has been extremely busy this semester and has had to commandeer the computer for goofy stuff like homework and studying. I admit, I really missed being able to write, and I'm glad to be back up and running. That is, until the next round of tests and lab reports come around.
I finished my Lower Body Workout just about a half hour ago. My workouts seem to be occurring more in the evening, once Andrew is in bed and the house quiets down. I keep meaning to wake up early to do it, but hey, to thine own self be true. It just doesn't happen for me. Go figure.
Food has been going really well. My appetite has really diminished lately. For instance, I haven't felt like eating at all after dinner time, which is around 6 to 7 o'clock. I haven't been wanting to eat as much for my midmorning snack, either. I am pretty hungry at breakfast, and eat well for that and dinner, but even lunch has been a little scaled back. I'm not expecting this to last, but I am not pushing myself to eat when I don't feel like it, even if that means I don't get the full six meals I'm supposed to get on BFL. I figure, for each time I eat less food, that's more fat globules getting broken down for energy. I'm all about that, my friends!
I am going back to the Y tomorrow, on my day off, so I can try to sign up for the Pumpkin Run. It is in November (I think), and it's a short run, only 4k, which is something like 2.5 miles, I think (conversion chart, anyone?). I hope they haven't run out of slots for the race. I also signed up to donate blood, but that won't be until October 29th. I hope I (A) remember and (B) actually show up. Sometimes it seems like a good idea way before I get there, and then I remember stuff like how I feel faint when I give blood, that it's kind of a hassle, and that I have a two-year old and won't that be fun to hang out with him after! Oh well, I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
My friend Liz wants me to try this other aerobics class that is tomorrow. It is not the one where I am forced to do the pony and the cha-cha for minutes on end, but it is a dance-based workout class. Liz tells me it is loosely based on dancing. I feel compelled to check it out, in a car-wreck-can't-look-away kind of way, and at the same time, do I really want to spend an hour in this class? I'll decide in the morning.
I am gonna go hit the showers and get ready for bed. I am glad I have had such a productive week this week. I have hit all my workouts and have eaten really very well all week. I will see you tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Day Thirty
I just elbowed Steve off of the computer. He's being so annoying, what with all this "studying" and "working" and now he's snapping my picture with the frackin' digital camera because he's laughing at what I'm wearing. It's not fair! I'm sufffering from Facebook withdrawal and I missed my blog entry for yesterday because of his *stupid* school stuff...I mean, who really needs to be all smart like that, really??
Things have been ok. My free day was actually pretty understated (for me). I didn't feel like digging a deep hole for myself, so I enjoyed myself, but I didn't go out and buy a Buddha carved out of butter or anything (bummer). I worked out really well yesterday, and I even ran this evening at about 9:45, to make sure I got it in, even though I feel a bit funky and kind of didn't want to do it.
Part of me is bummed, too. I have been working pretty hard with BFL, and it's been almost a month exactly since I started BFL, and my brain is telling me that I should be right up there with Bar Rafael or something (substitute Linda Evangelista if you have no idea who Bar is). I know it's going to take some time for my body shape to change, but I am feeling a wee bit impatient. I don't necessarily want the unreasonable...I just want to see my upper arms shrink down, so those muscles I've worked on can show. Or maybe that gnarly stomach of mine will stop pooching and slouching everywhere, since I've been lifting weights, running, and doing stomach crunches like a weightlifter who ran out of steroids.
I think I'm going to tell my head to stuff it, and stop talking to me and telling me this is going nowhere. I know that's not true, but I feel a little discouraged this evening, for some reason. I will get some sleep, and be back tomorrow. I'll see you then!
Things have been ok. My free day was actually pretty understated (for me). I didn't feel like digging a deep hole for myself, so I enjoyed myself, but I didn't go out and buy a Buddha carved out of butter or anything (bummer). I worked out really well yesterday, and I even ran this evening at about 9:45, to make sure I got it in, even though I feel a bit funky and kind of didn't want to do it.
Part of me is bummed, too. I have been working pretty hard with BFL, and it's been almost a month exactly since I started BFL, and my brain is telling me that I should be right up there with Bar Rafael or something (substitute Linda Evangelista if you have no idea who Bar is). I know it's going to take some time for my body shape to change, but I am feeling a wee bit impatient. I don't necessarily want the unreasonable...I just want to see my upper arms shrink down, so those muscles I've worked on can show. Or maybe that gnarly stomach of mine will stop pooching and slouching everywhere, since I've been lifting weights, running, and doing stomach crunches like a weightlifter who ran out of steroids.
I think I'm going to tell my head to stuff it, and stop talking to me and telling me this is going nowhere. I know that's not true, but I feel a little discouraged this evening, for some reason. I will get some sleep, and be back tomorrow. I'll see you then!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Day Twenty-Seven
It's late, but I just got back from running my Aerobics workout. Just wanted to let y'all know because I'm digging that whole accountability thing. I'm sure you were waiting with baited breath, right?
The day went well, and I had a really nice nap this afternoon, got to go out and play with my grown up friends (playdate for Mommy=yay!), and I am proud of myself for making sure I got my workout in, even though it meant going to the gym at nearly midnight.
I will see you all Monday. Have a restful Sunday and take care of each other!
:)
The day went well, and I had a really nice nap this afternoon, got to go out and play with my grown up friends (playdate for Mommy=yay!), and I am proud of myself for making sure I got my workout in, even though it meant going to the gym at nearly midnight.
I will see you all Monday. Have a restful Sunday and take care of each other!
:)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Day Twenty-Six, Numbers For Week Four
Hi everyone.
Dang, I nearly forgot to write today! Things are well here. Andrew is a bit unruly today, and I think the beginnings of some serious independence are showing. But that's a story for another day. I worked out like a...uh...well, I worked out my lower body really hard today, and lifted up to 30 POUNDS for dumb bells working out my calves. I've never wielded such heavy weights before, and this increase in strength is so wild and surprising to me! I had to pick up a big stack of nested glass bowls, and I had braced myself to pick them all up in one hand. Before I couldn't really do it at all, without being afraid my wrist would break off and I'd drop and crash all the glass bowls. This time, I tensed up, ready to lift some seriously heavy glass bowls, and the bowls all jetted up into the air with not nearly as much effort as I thought I'd need. Me and Popeye...we're likethis.
I meant to wait until tomorrow for numbers, but I got anxious, I guess. I was wondering how I was doing. I was worried nothing much had happened, since Week Three had been such a bust with lack of workouts and food issues. I missed running yesterday since Andrew was a little sick, and I just finally decided to get it over with and find out what my progress has been. So, here it is:
Weight: 179! (That's down five pounds from Week Two, and down ELEVEN POUNDS TOTAL!)
Bust: 41.75" (Down .5" from Week Two, and down 1.25" total)
Upper Arm: 13.25" (Up .25" from Week Two, and down .25" total)
Waist: 39.25" (Down 1.75" from Week Two, and down 3.75" total)
Abdomen: 42.5" (Down .25" from Week Two, and down 2.00" total)
Butt: 43" (Down 1.00" from Week Two, and down 2.50" total)
Thigh: 24.5" (Down .75" from Week Two, and down 3.50" total)
Calf: 15.5" (Absolutely no change yet at all...that's ok, I like my calves!)
I was getting bummed as I was taking measurements, but then I looked back at the Week Two numbers, and then back to the beginning, before I started. This is real progress. It isn't necessarily flashy, look-I-lost-seventy-pounds-in-two-weeks, but this is real, tangible progress. I can wear size 12 jeans now, which I had not been able to do. I can tell a very slight difference in myself, how I stand, how my body moves. It doesn't feel like I'm moving a Jell-O mountain when I am running. When I move, I don't really hurt later, as opposed to before, when I was sore a fair bit. I am enjoying being active, and I can see and feel how I feel better when I am putting better, whole foods, in my body. My mental state and clarity are improved, and I just feel good. It is really wild. I mean, excuse me for saying it twice, but I lost three and a half inches off of my thighs. That is a fair amount, in my humble opinion.
The measuring tape, while I fear it and have a fixation on it (well, not really), has really been a useful tool for me so far. It is one thing to see a number on a scale, and I am glad the number is lower, don't get me wrong (ahemELEVENahem), to be able to see where the weight is coming off from is very cool. I find it interesting that my arms got a wee bit bigger, and at first I was chagrined, but then I realized that that is muscle growing there, and I think that is just fine, thank you very much!
So here, let me put it this way. I have lost 44 sticks of butter off of my frame (and it really might all be from butter, who knows?) . I can lift heavier weights than I have ever lifted before. I did 10 pushups (okay, so they were the "girly" ones, but still), and my BMI, that good old controversial measurement, has dropped down to.......(drumroll)..................29.8!! That is down from 31.6, and I am no longer considered obese! That might just be my biggest, happiest surprise this week. I am far from being at a healthy weight, but I am no longer OBESE! I never thought I'd be so happy to be just "overweight", but try thinking of yourself in terms of that word and see how you feel. Obese. Just so glad it doesn't apply to me anymore!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, to running for my Aerobics workout, and to walking with Andrew at the farmer's market again. I look forward to talking to you again, tomorrow! See you then!
Dang, I nearly forgot to write today! Things are well here. Andrew is a bit unruly today, and I think the beginnings of some serious independence are showing. But that's a story for another day. I worked out like a...uh...well, I worked out my lower body really hard today, and lifted up to 30 POUNDS for dumb bells working out my calves. I've never wielded such heavy weights before, and this increase in strength is so wild and surprising to me! I had to pick up a big stack of nested glass bowls, and I had braced myself to pick them all up in one hand. Before I couldn't really do it at all, without being afraid my wrist would break off and I'd drop and crash all the glass bowls. This time, I tensed up, ready to lift some seriously heavy glass bowls, and the bowls all jetted up into the air with not nearly as much effort as I thought I'd need. Me and Popeye...we're likethis.
I meant to wait until tomorrow for numbers, but I got anxious, I guess. I was wondering how I was doing. I was worried nothing much had happened, since Week Three had been such a bust with lack of workouts and food issues. I missed running yesterday since Andrew was a little sick, and I just finally decided to get it over with and find out what my progress has been. So, here it is:
Weight: 179! (That's down five pounds from Week Two, and down ELEVEN POUNDS TOTAL!)
Bust: 41.75" (Down .5" from Week Two, and down 1.25" total)
Upper Arm: 13.25" (Up .25" from Week Two, and down .25" total)
Waist: 39.25" (Down 1.75" from Week Two, and down 3.75" total)
Abdomen: 42.5" (Down .25" from Week Two, and down 2.00" total)
Butt: 43" (Down 1.00" from Week Two, and down 2.50" total)
Thigh: 24.5" (Down .75" from Week Two, and down 3.50" total)
Calf: 15.5" (Absolutely no change yet at all...that's ok, I like my calves!)
I was getting bummed as I was taking measurements, but then I looked back at the Week Two numbers, and then back to the beginning, before I started. This is real progress. It isn't necessarily flashy, look-I-lost-seventy-pounds-in-two-weeks, but this is real, tangible progress. I can wear size 12 jeans now, which I had not been able to do. I can tell a very slight difference in myself, how I stand, how my body moves. It doesn't feel like I'm moving a Jell-O mountain when I am running. When I move, I don't really hurt later, as opposed to before, when I was sore a fair bit. I am enjoying being active, and I can see and feel how I feel better when I am putting better, whole foods, in my body. My mental state and clarity are improved, and I just feel good. It is really wild. I mean, excuse me for saying it twice, but I lost three and a half inches off of my thighs. That is a fair amount, in my humble opinion.
The measuring tape, while I fear it and have a fixation on it (well, not really), has really been a useful tool for me so far. It is one thing to see a number on a scale, and I am glad the number is lower, don't get me wrong (ahemELEVENahem), to be able to see where the weight is coming off from is very cool. I find it interesting that my arms got a wee bit bigger, and at first I was chagrined, but then I realized that that is muscle growing there, and I think that is just fine, thank you very much!
So here, let me put it this way. I have lost 44 sticks of butter off of my frame (and it really might all be from butter, who knows?) . I can lift heavier weights than I have ever lifted before. I did 10 pushups (okay, so they were the "girly" ones, but still), and my BMI, that good old controversial measurement, has dropped down to.......(drumroll)..................29.8!! That is down from 31.6, and I am no longer considered obese! That might just be my biggest, happiest surprise this week. I am far from being at a healthy weight, but I am no longer OBESE! I never thought I'd be so happy to be just "overweight", but try thinking of yourself in terms of that word and see how you feel. Obese. Just so glad it doesn't apply to me anymore!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, to running for my Aerobics workout, and to walking with Andrew at the farmer's market again. I look forward to talking to you again, tomorrow! See you then!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Day Twenty-Five, and I'm stunned.
Hey everyone. Things are going pretty well here at my casa, except Andrew is a bit sicky with some weird tepid stomach bug, but that's ok, as long as I don't catch it! God forbid the Mommy gets sick, then all hell will break loose!
So I did some researching today on Wikipedia, the most trusted name in research (um, no). I started out with a fun list of phobias, just to warm up the old brain. I got a whole list of 'em! Good luck on pronounciation, because some of this is going to take me six weeks just to type up the word, let alone say it!
Aichmophobia: Fear of sharp or pointed objects (needle, knife, a pointing finger)
Catoptrophobia: fear of mirrors or of one's own reflection (bummer)
Algophobia: fear of pain (seems like a smart one to have)
Gelotophobia: fear of being laughed at (glad I don't have that one)
I loved this one....
Coulrophobia: fear of clowns (not restricted to evil clowns) --->totally quoting straight from the page. Not restricted to evil clowns! ha ha ha ha!
Emetophobia: fear of vomiting (I got that one!)
ok...let me try this one on for size:
hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia: fear of the number 666. Sheesh.
nomophobia: fear of being out of mobile phone contact (*smirk*...shouldn't it be nomophonophobia?)
selachophobia: fear of sharks
The list has lots of other phobias on there, and I looked it over and saw this one:
Cibophobia, Sitophobia: aversion to food, synonomous to Anorexia Nervosa.
I decided to go and follow the path, so to speak. I looked up Anorexia Nervosa. Where this took me is really amazing, depressing, stunning, and on and on. Before I write another word, though, I am going to preface the rest by saying this. I am just a goofbutt with a laptop, writing a blog about health and fitness. I wanted to learn a little bit more about this area of living and self-care, since I am not very good at it yet. I am not a learned professional in this topic, I will try very hard to not cast an insensitive view on what I write, and I will try very hard not to offend. However, I am human, and may very well do just what I try not to do. I write this in advance so that you might remember this as you read someting that makes your blood pressure rise and the condemnations fly. I'm just a regular Joe...Anne. Also, I want to say that if you, for any reason, feel that you are having trouble with eating disorders, I hope you know that there are many places you can turn to for help and a someone to listen. I will try to include a couple of options as I go. Ok, ready?
Anorexia Nervosa is from the Greek words for A- or An- (meaning a lack of) and orexis, meaning appetite. This is literally "a lack of desire to eat."
It is a psychiatric illness that has social, economic, psychological, neurochemical, and other layers, levels, intersections, you name it. It is an eating disorder with hallmarks of low body weight, body image distortion, obsessive fear of gaining weight, and an inability to recognize the gravity of the situation when continued behaviors of Anorexia Nervosa can lead to death. People with Anorexia Nervosa are known to control their body weight through various means. Starvation, excess exercise, diuretics, diet pills. The disorder primarily affects adolescent women ages 15-19, but up to 10% of the sufferers are men. It can affect any age group, and the onset has been documented as late in life as the early 90s.
People suffering with Anorexia Nervosa refuse to maintain a healthy body weight, such as beneath a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 17.5 or 85% of body weight expected for an age group. There is also intense fear of being overweight or gaining weight, even when the person is underweight. Also, there is a change in the way the person assesses their own body shape or weight, and a denial of the seriousness of the disorder. Interestingly, people with Anorexia Nervosa have a very clear-sighted view of their own bodies in relation to other, healthy people. From what I've read, healthy people have a tendency towards overconfidence in regards to their looks and body shapes (explains why I'm always a little disappointed when I look in a full-length mirror!). The person suffering from AN sees more clearly what they look like, and then proceeds to reinforce their belief that their looks or what-have-you would improve with the loss of more weight.
There are two sub-types of AN:
1)Restricting Type: the person doesn't regularly engage in binge eating or purging behavior. Weight loss for the current episode is accomplished mostly through dieting, fasting, or execessive exercise.
2)Binge-Eating Type or Purging Type: the person has regularly performed binge-eating or purging behavior (laxatives, enemas, diuretics).
What is interesting to me as well about AN is that individuals can move from one sub-type to another, and from Anorexia Nervosa to Bulimia Nervosa, over time, as their thinking patterns and behaviors change over time.
There have been observable changes in the brain in people suffering from AN, but it is difficult to tell the relationship between the damage to the brain and the eating disorder (chicken or egg kind of a thing). This damage can be partially reversed when normal weight is regained.
There is a whole laundry list of symptoms of AN. Some (and really just a few, compared to the list) are extreme weight loss, stunted growth, decreased libido, impotence in males, thinning of hair, constantly feeling cold, zinc deficiency, creaking joints and bones, dry skin, chapped lips, extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, memory deficits. The person suffering with AN has a distorted body image, their self-evaluation is solely in terms of their weight and shape. Can you imagine being able to only relate to life via your size? I try to sit back and imagine relating everything from how I feel to whether or not that boy I liked back in fifth grade like me back...and feeding it through that mental state, putting it all in terms of my size and shape, my weight. Perfectionism also tends to be evident here, as well as clinical depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
There has also been strenuous debate over whether or not Anorexia Nervosa is considered an illness or a choice. One person, Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the US National Institue of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders/anorexia-nervosa.shtml) wrote a letter to the National Eating Disorder Association (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/) stating that "eating disorders are brain disorders."
I got a bit sidetracked at this point. It goes on and on. Medication may help, but studies are dubious. Family therapy may help, but rehabilitation of people with AN has a low success rate. But the topic of whether or not AN was a choice really got my attention. "Why, isn't it obviously a disorder?" I thought to myself. Aside from the person involved, who may be so far advanced they can't see the damage done to themselves (how like an active alcoholic or drug addict!), wouldn't it be obvious the person needs help?
As I read along, I came to the part describing societal and environmental factors. Here is where everything seemed to go all pear-shaped. I read that the internet has enabled anorexics and bulimics to communicate with one another outside of treatment. That some of these sites are pro-anorexia (pro-ana) and pro-bulimic (pro-mia).
I admit, the first thing I thought was....WTF?!
I then went to look further into this. Pro-ana's reject the medical viewpoint that Anorexia Nervosa is a disorder, and argue it is a lifestyle choice. There are websites similar in scope to MySpace or Facebook, where they get together and support one another's eating (or non-eating, really) choices, swap ideas for losing weight, compete with one another regarding weight, and advise each other on subjects like subduing hunger pangs. Some people even come to personify "Ana" as a helper to the person with AN. There is a sense of feeling "clean, pure, spiritual" to be abstaining or fasting from food, whereas sin can be denoted with eating imagery.
There is "Ana's Creed":
I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring order in the chaos that is my world.
I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.
I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.
I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.
I believe in salvation through starvation.
I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of God, and memorize them accordingly.
I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily succeses and failures.
I believe in hell, cause sometimes I think I live in it.
I believe in a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting.
and "Ana's Commandments":
1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy small clothes, cut your hair, take diet pills, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good / gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never be too thin.
10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.
To be fair, not every single Pro-Ana site has the same aims. Many claim to be a place where anorexics can be to discuss their illness, and discuss recovery. It has been noted that anorexics can "pool" together at websites like these to normalize their condition, and to have a sense of identity amongst others. Some of these sites (and again, not necessarily all of them) offer tips on crash dieting, advise on how to purge, how to hide weight loss from parents and doctors, how to appease the side effects of Anorexia Nervosa. On and on.
Then another word came up I was unfamiliar with. Thinspiration. These are images or montages of slim women, even emaciated women, to offer encouragement (?) to others. Also, there is reverse thinspiration, where there are images of fatty foods, overweight or obese people, designed to inspire disgust and fear of weight gain.
And there are red and blue and purple beaded bracelets that are worn by supporters of this lifestyle.
I went and Googled Pro-Ana, and Ana's Creed, and Ana's Commandments. I ended up finding imagery for Ana-lifestyle people. One image was of a cadaverous, green angel leaning out of a computer screen, hugging a woman sitting in front of it. A plate with what appeared to be two rice cakes on it sat next to the computer. I saw imagery of thin women, emaciated women, and I stumbled onto one or two blogs of active Anorexics who were attempting to get even thinner, and were blogging their lives and their self-control. I didn't notice any recent entries for one of them (I do not recall the address), and I had to wonder if she was still alive.
There is no happy ending for this report, guys. AN is thought to have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. Up to 20% eventually die from related causes to AN. The suicide rate for people with AN is higher than the general population, and is thought to be the major cause of death for people with AN.
It has a tendency to be more prevalent in Western societies, among the more wealthy as well, but this is spreading across the planet as Western media reaches further across the globe. Yet there is no clear causality between the imagery of thin women in the media and Anorexia Nervosa.
All I can do is to say this. If you or someone you love might be suffering from this disorder, there are options. You can call your local hospital, your physician. You can visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders (http://www.anad.org/). You can visit http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ as well. There are places to go for help.
With the exception of the Ana material (creed, commandments), almost everything I found was through wikipedia. I simply typed in Anorexia Nervosa and took it from there, so you can read more about this disorder if you choose to.
As for me, I am very grateful to not be affected by AN. I know there are times when I have joked that I wish I had the discipline to be an anorexic, but I take it back 100%. Never would I want to know the fearful discipline and measuring rod of the anorexic. For what I have, I am truly grateful, and I hope you are, too.
So I did some researching today on Wikipedia, the most trusted name in research (um, no). I started out with a fun list of phobias, just to warm up the old brain. I got a whole list of 'em! Good luck on pronounciation, because some of this is going to take me six weeks just to type up the word, let alone say it!
Aichmophobia: Fear of sharp or pointed objects (needle, knife, a pointing finger)
Catoptrophobia: fear of mirrors or of one's own reflection (bummer)
Algophobia: fear of pain (seems like a smart one to have)
Gelotophobia: fear of being laughed at (glad I don't have that one)
I loved this one....
Coulrophobia: fear of clowns (not restricted to evil clowns) --->totally quoting straight from the page. Not restricted to evil clowns! ha ha ha ha!
Emetophobia: fear of vomiting (I got that one!)
ok...let me try this one on for size:
hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia: fear of the number 666. Sheesh.
nomophobia: fear of being out of mobile phone contact (*smirk*...shouldn't it be nomophonophobia?)
selachophobia: fear of sharks
The list has lots of other phobias on there, and I looked it over and saw this one:
Cibophobia, Sitophobia: aversion to food, synonomous to Anorexia Nervosa.
I decided to go and follow the path, so to speak. I looked up Anorexia Nervosa. Where this took me is really amazing, depressing, stunning, and on and on. Before I write another word, though, I am going to preface the rest by saying this. I am just a goofbutt with a laptop, writing a blog about health and fitness. I wanted to learn a little bit more about this area of living and self-care, since I am not very good at it yet. I am not a learned professional in this topic, I will try very hard to not cast an insensitive view on what I write, and I will try very hard not to offend. However, I am human, and may very well do just what I try not to do. I write this in advance so that you might remember this as you read someting that makes your blood pressure rise and the condemnations fly. I'm just a regular Joe...Anne. Also, I want to say that if you, for any reason, feel that you are having trouble with eating disorders, I hope you know that there are many places you can turn to for help and a someone to listen. I will try to include a couple of options as I go. Ok, ready?
Anorexia Nervosa is from the Greek words for A- or An- (meaning a lack of) and orexis, meaning appetite. This is literally "a lack of desire to eat."
It is a psychiatric illness that has social, economic, psychological, neurochemical, and other layers, levels, intersections, you name it. It is an eating disorder with hallmarks of low body weight, body image distortion, obsessive fear of gaining weight, and an inability to recognize the gravity of the situation when continued behaviors of Anorexia Nervosa can lead to death. People with Anorexia Nervosa are known to control their body weight through various means. Starvation, excess exercise, diuretics, diet pills. The disorder primarily affects adolescent women ages 15-19, but up to 10% of the sufferers are men. It can affect any age group, and the onset has been documented as late in life as the early 90s.
People suffering with Anorexia Nervosa refuse to maintain a healthy body weight, such as beneath a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 17.5 or 85% of body weight expected for an age group. There is also intense fear of being overweight or gaining weight, even when the person is underweight. Also, there is a change in the way the person assesses their own body shape or weight, and a denial of the seriousness of the disorder. Interestingly, people with Anorexia Nervosa have a very clear-sighted view of their own bodies in relation to other, healthy people. From what I've read, healthy people have a tendency towards overconfidence in regards to their looks and body shapes (explains why I'm always a little disappointed when I look in a full-length mirror!). The person suffering from AN sees more clearly what they look like, and then proceeds to reinforce their belief that their looks or what-have-you would improve with the loss of more weight.
There are two sub-types of AN:
1)Restricting Type: the person doesn't regularly engage in binge eating or purging behavior. Weight loss for the current episode is accomplished mostly through dieting, fasting, or execessive exercise.
2)Binge-Eating Type or Purging Type: the person has regularly performed binge-eating or purging behavior (laxatives, enemas, diuretics).
What is interesting to me as well about AN is that individuals can move from one sub-type to another, and from Anorexia Nervosa to Bulimia Nervosa, over time, as their thinking patterns and behaviors change over time.
There have been observable changes in the brain in people suffering from AN, but it is difficult to tell the relationship between the damage to the brain and the eating disorder (chicken or egg kind of a thing). This damage can be partially reversed when normal weight is regained.
There is a whole laundry list of symptoms of AN. Some (and really just a few, compared to the list) are extreme weight loss, stunted growth, decreased libido, impotence in males, thinning of hair, constantly feeling cold, zinc deficiency, creaking joints and bones, dry skin, chapped lips, extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, memory deficits. The person suffering with AN has a distorted body image, their self-evaluation is solely in terms of their weight and shape. Can you imagine being able to only relate to life via your size? I try to sit back and imagine relating everything from how I feel to whether or not that boy I liked back in fifth grade like me back...and feeding it through that mental state, putting it all in terms of my size and shape, my weight. Perfectionism also tends to be evident here, as well as clinical depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
There has also been strenuous debate over whether or not Anorexia Nervosa is considered an illness or a choice. One person, Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the US National Institue of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders/anorexia-nervosa.shtml) wrote a letter to the National Eating Disorder Association (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/) stating that "eating disorders are brain disorders."
I got a bit sidetracked at this point. It goes on and on. Medication may help, but studies are dubious. Family therapy may help, but rehabilitation of people with AN has a low success rate. But the topic of whether or not AN was a choice really got my attention. "Why, isn't it obviously a disorder?" I thought to myself. Aside from the person involved, who may be so far advanced they can't see the damage done to themselves (how like an active alcoholic or drug addict!), wouldn't it be obvious the person needs help?
As I read along, I came to the part describing societal and environmental factors. Here is where everything seemed to go all pear-shaped. I read that the internet has enabled anorexics and bulimics to communicate with one another outside of treatment. That some of these sites are pro-anorexia (pro-ana) and pro-bulimic (pro-mia).
I admit, the first thing I thought was....WTF?!
I then went to look further into this. Pro-ana's reject the medical viewpoint that Anorexia Nervosa is a disorder, and argue it is a lifestyle choice. There are websites similar in scope to MySpace or Facebook, where they get together and support one another's eating (or non-eating, really) choices, swap ideas for losing weight, compete with one another regarding weight, and advise each other on subjects like subduing hunger pangs. Some people even come to personify "Ana" as a helper to the person with AN. There is a sense of feeling "clean, pure, spiritual" to be abstaining or fasting from food, whereas sin can be denoted with eating imagery.
There is "Ana's Creed":
I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring order in the chaos that is my world.
I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.
I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.
I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.
I believe in salvation through starvation.
I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of God, and memorize them accordingly.
I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily succeses and failures.
I believe in hell, cause sometimes I think I live in it.
I believe in a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting.
and "Ana's Commandments":
1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy small clothes, cut your hair, take diet pills, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good / gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never be too thin.
10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.
To be fair, not every single Pro-Ana site has the same aims. Many claim to be a place where anorexics can be to discuss their illness, and discuss recovery. It has been noted that anorexics can "pool" together at websites like these to normalize their condition, and to have a sense of identity amongst others. Some of these sites (and again, not necessarily all of them) offer tips on crash dieting, advise on how to purge, how to hide weight loss from parents and doctors, how to appease the side effects of Anorexia Nervosa. On and on.
Then another word came up I was unfamiliar with. Thinspiration. These are images or montages of slim women, even emaciated women, to offer encouragement (?) to others. Also, there is reverse thinspiration, where there are images of fatty foods, overweight or obese people, designed to inspire disgust and fear of weight gain.
And there are red and blue and purple beaded bracelets that are worn by supporters of this lifestyle.
I went and Googled Pro-Ana, and Ana's Creed, and Ana's Commandments. I ended up finding imagery for Ana-lifestyle people. One image was of a cadaverous, green angel leaning out of a computer screen, hugging a woman sitting in front of it. A plate with what appeared to be two rice cakes on it sat next to the computer. I saw imagery of thin women, emaciated women, and I stumbled onto one or two blogs of active Anorexics who were attempting to get even thinner, and were blogging their lives and their self-control. I didn't notice any recent entries for one of them (I do not recall the address), and I had to wonder if she was still alive.
There is no happy ending for this report, guys. AN is thought to have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. Up to 20% eventually die from related causes to AN. The suicide rate for people with AN is higher than the general population, and is thought to be the major cause of death for people with AN.
It has a tendency to be more prevalent in Western societies, among the more wealthy as well, but this is spreading across the planet as Western media reaches further across the globe. Yet there is no clear causality between the imagery of thin women in the media and Anorexia Nervosa.
All I can do is to say this. If you or someone you love might be suffering from this disorder, there are options. You can call your local hospital, your physician. You can visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders (http://www.anad.org/). You can visit http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ as well. There are places to go for help.
With the exception of the Ana material (creed, commandments), almost everything I found was through wikipedia. I simply typed in Anorexia Nervosa and took it from there, so you can read more about this disorder if you choose to.
As for me, I am very grateful to not be affected by AN. I know there are times when I have joked that I wish I had the discipline to be an anorexic, but I take it back 100%. Never would I want to know the fearful discipline and measuring rod of the anorexic. For what I have, I am truly grateful, and I hope you are, too.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Day Twenty-Four
I woke up at 5:45 and worked out. I went to work, did odds and ends at home. I didn't nap when Andrew fell asleep, either. Which leads me to tell you all that I am sooooooooooo tired.
I . uh, hang on. um.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sorry, more tomorrow. G'nite.
I . uh, hang on. um.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sorry, more tomorrow. G'nite.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Day Twenty-Three
So, uh, I didn't get up at 5:30. Like a dummy, I stayed up too late, thinking I'd suck it up and just get up in the morning. What did happen was that I played a little game called "wonder if I can hit the snooze button before the third beep." I played that game a lot. I got pretty good at it. I got so good at it we were about ten minutes late to school/work this morning. Oops.
I did go back to the Y and run, though. I put on my snazzy new sneakers and my iPod Shuffle. I love this little toy. I just got it last week, and it's the last generation, not the newest one, so the price is more reasonable. I love it so much I named it Pearl. Pearl and I ran together today, stomping it out on the treadmill to Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" and "Lady Lumps" (or whatever it's called) by the Black-Eyed Peas. And I took off the volume limiter, so when I got going, I think the two people next to me could hear what I was running to (hello, if you heard Snow Patrol playing...that was me). I actually got the old treadmill (and my lumps) up to 6.0 (mph?). That's the fastest I've gone, perhaps ever. I figure I might go faster than that one day, but someone will have to chase me with a meat cleaver or a gasoline-powered chainsaw.
I notice it also helps with running if you have shoes that are the correct size! I have been squeezing my post-baby bigger feet into my old pre-pregnancy sneakers. When you have a kid, your feet get bigger, and mine grew pretty much a whole size. It's such a nice treat to not have my toes crammed all the way to the top of my shoes, and to not have them numb from having the arch press into the wrong part of my foot. My hypochondriac self was convinced the numbness was a sign that I had a really crappy circulatory system and was getting heart disease or something! (knock on wood)
Food went all right. I was grumpy and hormonal yet again this morning, and did some emotional eating when I got home from work. Granted, on the bright side, it was all food I had planned for eating all that day. All healthy food. The downside was that I ate three meals in about four hours. Oh well. Steve made us dinner tonight, which was very sweet. He used up some of the pre-cooked chicken breast and made a homemade tomato sauce to go over whole wheat pasta, and he tossed in some of the fresh farmers' market peppers and the little broiled fairytale eggplant. It was delicious with a side of boiled and salted shelled edamame.
I am still pondering what topic to chat about tomorrow. I might visit Wikipedia and play around and see if something stands out to me. Binge eating was brought up in the comments (thanks Justine!), and I definitely have issues with that, myself. Eating disorders seems to be the topic that is coming up for other people, too. I also feel it is a hugely emotional and sensitive subject, and I would hate to even remotely offend someone suffering out there, or seem insensitive. Probably don't have to worry that much, though, since my lovely readers (and I'm so glad you read it, guys, really!) are a pretty manageably small group. Not that I'm complaining. I most likely will not have to worry about starting a firestorm up in here!
If you do stop and read, will you please do me a favor and sign up as a follower, if you haven't already? It's nice to know who I'm talking to, and honestly, it does give me a boost! I don't think you have to worry about spam or anything...but you could chalk it up to doing a good deed or something. Yeah, that's right. Signing up to follow my blog is right up there with saving baby dolphins and stuff. Yeah, that's it.....
I'm glad I did my workout and ate pretty well today. I'll do it tomorrow, and I'll even have a bit of a blurb about some health topic for you folks. I'll see you tomorrow! In the meantime, I will leave you with a picture from my most favorite website (http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/). This so completely says me, I can't even find where to start. :)
I did go back to the Y and run, though. I put on my snazzy new sneakers and my iPod Shuffle. I love this little toy. I just got it last week, and it's the last generation, not the newest one, so the price is more reasonable. I love it so much I named it Pearl. Pearl and I ran together today, stomping it out on the treadmill to Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" and "Lady Lumps" (or whatever it's called) by the Black-Eyed Peas. And I took off the volume limiter, so when I got going, I think the two people next to me could hear what I was running to (hello, if you heard Snow Patrol playing...that was me). I actually got the old treadmill (and my lumps) up to 6.0 (mph?). That's the fastest I've gone, perhaps ever. I figure I might go faster than that one day, but someone will have to chase me with a meat cleaver or a gasoline-powered chainsaw.
I notice it also helps with running if you have shoes that are the correct size! I have been squeezing my post-baby bigger feet into my old pre-pregnancy sneakers. When you have a kid, your feet get bigger, and mine grew pretty much a whole size. It's such a nice treat to not have my toes crammed all the way to the top of my shoes, and to not have them numb from having the arch press into the wrong part of my foot. My hypochondriac self was convinced the numbness was a sign that I had a really crappy circulatory system and was getting heart disease or something! (knock on wood)
Food went all right. I was grumpy and hormonal yet again this morning, and did some emotional eating when I got home from work. Granted, on the bright side, it was all food I had planned for eating all that day. All healthy food. The downside was that I ate three meals in about four hours. Oh well. Steve made us dinner tonight, which was very sweet. He used up some of the pre-cooked chicken breast and made a homemade tomato sauce to go over whole wheat pasta, and he tossed in some of the fresh farmers' market peppers and the little broiled fairytale eggplant. It was delicious with a side of boiled and salted shelled edamame.
I am still pondering what topic to chat about tomorrow. I might visit Wikipedia and play around and see if something stands out to me. Binge eating was brought up in the comments (thanks Justine!), and I definitely have issues with that, myself. Eating disorders seems to be the topic that is coming up for other people, too. I also feel it is a hugely emotional and sensitive subject, and I would hate to even remotely offend someone suffering out there, or seem insensitive. Probably don't have to worry that much, though, since my lovely readers (and I'm so glad you read it, guys, really!) are a pretty manageably small group. Not that I'm complaining. I most likely will not have to worry about starting a firestorm up in here!
If you do stop and read, will you please do me a favor and sign up as a follower, if you haven't already? It's nice to know who I'm talking to, and honestly, it does give me a boost! I don't think you have to worry about spam or anything...but you could chalk it up to doing a good deed or something. Yeah, that's right. Signing up to follow my blog is right up there with saving baby dolphins and stuff. Yeah, that's it.....
I'm glad I did my workout and ate pretty well today. I'll do it tomorrow, and I'll even have a bit of a blurb about some health topic for you folks. I'll see you tomorrow! In the meantime, I will leave you with a picture from my most favorite website (http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/). This so completely says me, I can't even find where to start. :)
Monday, September 7, 2009
Day Twenty-Two
Today felt pretty doggone good. I woke up at 6-ish and did my Lower Body Workout. I will give you a general rundown of what a BFL workout is like. First off, it is based on a scale of intensity, from one to ten, with one being the lowest (like sitting there, breathing) and ten being the highest (jumping three feet up into the air, over and over). There are two exercises per muscle group, with reps of 12, 10, 8, and 6 before launghing into the "high point", where there are two sets of 12, one for each exercise. Confused yet? Let me illustrate:
This morning, I started with my quadriceps exercises. I chose the Dumb bell Squat, where I basically bend over and straighten back up, with dumb bells. I want to aim for an intensity of five with my first set of reps (12 reps for this one). So I pick a weight that will give me some work to do, but not kill me. Not yet. :)
Then I pick a heavier weight and commence doing the same exercise, except with only ten reps. The intensity I'm shooting for is a six. Then I go up in intensity again, doing eight reps, and I'm shooting for an intensity of seven. See where this is going? The next set of reps (six times), I want to be feeling a bit of a burn with an intensity of eight. Then comes the high point. This is sort of where I work until I have muscle fatigue. I pick a weight that will really make me work, and I do twelve reps for my Dumb Bell Squats. I'm sweating, I'm having to think a little too hard about what I'm doing, and I'm using my mental strength to go the distance instead of thunking the dumb bells down and saying "close enough." I want an intensity of nine here. But I'm still not done. Then I immediately (with no break) switch into my second exercise (for instance, the Plie Dumb Bell Squat) and do twelve reps again. This time, I'm feeling it at about the third rep. I'm even maybe a little shaky by the tenth rep. And I really feel like I can't go any further by the time I do the twelfth one--here's my intensity of ten. Then I take a break for a couple of minutes and then prep my next muscle group exercise...for the hamstrings. And I do it all over again.
The Lower Body Workout covers my quadriceps, my hamstrings, my calves, and my abs. It is supposed to last about 42 minutes (how they figure this is beyond me), but it is definitely not supposed to last longer than this. With this level of intensity, I can understand the idea of not overworking too much.
The Upper Body Workout covers the shoulders, the back, the triceps, and the biceps. This one, because there are more muscles involved, is supposed to be no longer than 46 minutes (why 46...seriously?). I'll be doing the Upper Body the day after tomorrow, because I alternate the weight lifting with aerobic/cardio workouts that (fortunately) last twenty minutes, tops. Those are kind of my favorite days....wonder why?
So anyway, I woke up and exercised and dusted off my meditation routine again. It was funnier than ever to try to meditate because, this time, my brain had no chance at all to screw up, because of my cat, Peach. Peach is very friendly, and pretty much figures we're all here on this planet to pet her. She doesn't care if I'm me, Steve, the weirdo down the street, the Dalai Lama, or Stalin. Just pet her. I'm sitting there, trying for some conscious contact with the God of my understanding, and Peach is rubbing her head all over my folded hands, stepping all over my lap. I couldn't decide if this was a message from God (like, "hey lady, good job this morning, have a cuddle") or just His sense of humor ("think you can get back into your old routine that easily? I'll show you!").
After that, since there was no jobby job to be at (thank you, Labor Day!), I went back to bed, sweaty and all. I was just too tired. Andrew got up at almost 9:00, and we had a pretty regular day. Nothing too exciting happened. We played outside, we watched (too much) TV, we had a family dinner together. It is really nice to be able to sit together as a family and eat, especially a healthy meal. What's even better is that we have four new-ish matching dinner table chairs that I am still so grateful for. We had chairs, but they were secondhand and broke, and we didn't replace them until one day, recently, when I realized that I had scooted a rocking chair up to the dinner table, and Andrew was using a ratty old computer desk chair. Steve and I ate in shifts, since there was no third chair. So now we have four (!) matching chairs, and I'm still so glad for them. Andrew likes to sit right between us at the long side of the table, with our chairs so close together they touch. He was sitting at the table's end, but he likes to be right next to us, and we find it's much easier to keep him at the dinner table, instead of wandering around, munching on a handful of peas.
I feel so much better already, having decided to go back to my early morning routine. To start the day knowing that I am already done with most of my self-care is a good feeling. Much better than the dread of last week, knowing I still had yet to do it, and then the self-flagellation when I would decide to skip it. I'll have to work harder at getting to bed sooner (instead of after midnight!), but the rest of my day is on a much more even keel.
I made some food in advance for my week this week. I cooked up a bag of chicken breasts very simply, just olive oil and salt and cooked them through in a pan. Once they're cooled, I cut them in strips and put them in a tupperware container. I just reach in and get what I want, when I want it. It's very easy. Steve is actually going to the grocery store right now, and he's going to bring me home some apples and string cheese and stuff like that. Love that man! He was only going to get himself a notebook, but then he asked me if there was anything else I needed. I just expanded his shopping list by about 200%, and he didn't even grumble...what a rockstar!
I have yet to decide what this week's report might be about. Does anyone have a preference? Does anyone care? Shall I skip it? I was toying with a bit of a look into eating disorders, maybe just one disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia alone, rather than together. I don't know...maybe the thyroid? I guess I'll have to sleep on that one.
I better go. I have to plan my menu for tomorrow and my workout, too. Then I can go to sleep! I'm so glad I did my self-care today; my workout, my meditation, and ate well today, too. I'll be doing it again tomorrow! See you then!
This morning, I started with my quadriceps exercises. I chose the Dumb bell Squat, where I basically bend over and straighten back up, with dumb bells. I want to aim for an intensity of five with my first set of reps (12 reps for this one). So I pick a weight that will give me some work to do, but not kill me. Not yet. :)
Then I pick a heavier weight and commence doing the same exercise, except with only ten reps. The intensity I'm shooting for is a six. Then I go up in intensity again, doing eight reps, and I'm shooting for an intensity of seven. See where this is going? The next set of reps (six times), I want to be feeling a bit of a burn with an intensity of eight. Then comes the high point. This is sort of where I work until I have muscle fatigue. I pick a weight that will really make me work, and I do twelve reps for my Dumb Bell Squats. I'm sweating, I'm having to think a little too hard about what I'm doing, and I'm using my mental strength to go the distance instead of thunking the dumb bells down and saying "close enough." I want an intensity of nine here. But I'm still not done. Then I immediately (with no break) switch into my second exercise (for instance, the Plie Dumb Bell Squat) and do twelve reps again. This time, I'm feeling it at about the third rep. I'm even maybe a little shaky by the tenth rep. And I really feel like I can't go any further by the time I do the twelfth one--here's my intensity of ten. Then I take a break for a couple of minutes and then prep my next muscle group exercise...for the hamstrings. And I do it all over again.
The Lower Body Workout covers my quadriceps, my hamstrings, my calves, and my abs. It is supposed to last about 42 minutes (how they figure this is beyond me), but it is definitely not supposed to last longer than this. With this level of intensity, I can understand the idea of not overworking too much.
The Upper Body Workout covers the shoulders, the back, the triceps, and the biceps. This one, because there are more muscles involved, is supposed to be no longer than 46 minutes (why 46...seriously?). I'll be doing the Upper Body the day after tomorrow, because I alternate the weight lifting with aerobic/cardio workouts that (fortunately) last twenty minutes, tops. Those are kind of my favorite days....wonder why?
So anyway, I woke up and exercised and dusted off my meditation routine again. It was funnier than ever to try to meditate because, this time, my brain had no chance at all to screw up, because of my cat, Peach. Peach is very friendly, and pretty much figures we're all here on this planet to pet her. She doesn't care if I'm me, Steve, the weirdo down the street, the Dalai Lama, or Stalin. Just pet her. I'm sitting there, trying for some conscious contact with the God of my understanding, and Peach is rubbing her head all over my folded hands, stepping all over my lap. I couldn't decide if this was a message from God (like, "hey lady, good job this morning, have a cuddle") or just His sense of humor ("think you can get back into your old routine that easily? I'll show you!").
After that, since there was no jobby job to be at (thank you, Labor Day!), I went back to bed, sweaty and all. I was just too tired. Andrew got up at almost 9:00, and we had a pretty regular day. Nothing too exciting happened. We played outside, we watched (too much) TV, we had a family dinner together. It is really nice to be able to sit together as a family and eat, especially a healthy meal. What's even better is that we have four new-ish matching dinner table chairs that I am still so grateful for. We had chairs, but they were secondhand and broke, and we didn't replace them until one day, recently, when I realized that I had scooted a rocking chair up to the dinner table, and Andrew was using a ratty old computer desk chair. Steve and I ate in shifts, since there was no third chair. So now we have four (!) matching chairs, and I'm still so glad for them. Andrew likes to sit right between us at the long side of the table, with our chairs so close together they touch. He was sitting at the table's end, but he likes to be right next to us, and we find it's much easier to keep him at the dinner table, instead of wandering around, munching on a handful of peas.
I feel so much better already, having decided to go back to my early morning routine. To start the day knowing that I am already done with most of my self-care is a good feeling. Much better than the dread of last week, knowing I still had yet to do it, and then the self-flagellation when I would decide to skip it. I'll have to work harder at getting to bed sooner (instead of after midnight!), but the rest of my day is on a much more even keel.
I made some food in advance for my week this week. I cooked up a bag of chicken breasts very simply, just olive oil and salt and cooked them through in a pan. Once they're cooled, I cut them in strips and put them in a tupperware container. I just reach in and get what I want, when I want it. It's very easy. Steve is actually going to the grocery store right now, and he's going to bring me home some apples and string cheese and stuff like that. Love that man! He was only going to get himself a notebook, but then he asked me if there was anything else I needed. I just expanded his shopping list by about 200%, and he didn't even grumble...what a rockstar!
I have yet to decide what this week's report might be about. Does anyone have a preference? Does anyone care? Shall I skip it? I was toying with a bit of a look into eating disorders, maybe just one disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia alone, rather than together. I don't know...maybe the thyroid? I guess I'll have to sleep on that one.
I better go. I have to plan my menu for tomorrow and my workout, too. Then I can go to sleep! I'm so glad I did my self-care today; my workout, my meditation, and ate well today, too. I'll be doing it again tomorrow! See you then!
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