Monday, October 5, 2009

Day Fifty. I may be down, but...

I am not out.

Last week, well, I didn't write in the blog.  There was nothing to write.  I felt sick, aggravated, hormonal, you name it.  So I let it slide allllll week.  No workouts, no controlled eating, no healthy food.  And I told myself that, come Monday, I was getting back up on the horse. 

I didn't get up at the crack o' dawn to work out, but I got my workout in while Andrew had his nap.  I ate well today, and I have to say that my body must have missed all that healthy food.  It really makes a difference, what kind of fuel you put in your body.  With all the emotional, hormonal eating I did last week, I haven't felt so depressed and miserable and puffy (for lack of a better word) since before I started Body-for-LIFE.  I was sure I had put on all the weight I had lost.  I felt like I had "outgrown" all the clothes I had just slimmed down to fit into.  I felt like I would forever feel horrible about myself, miserable about my body, and just yucky in general.  However, after about two meals into today, my outlook on life brightened considerably.  I think I may have rejoined the human race.  Finally. 

The slight downside to all that time off was that my strength went by the wayside when I went to do my Lower Body Workout.  JELLY LEGS!  That is going to feel very interesting come tomorrow.  I had to scale back the weights I had been using, and even with lighter weights, my muscles were quivering like Jell-O in an earthquake.  But I did it.  I am so glad I did.

This feels a little bit like a triumph for me, in more than one way.  For one, in the past, any workout/lifestyle change attempts had to be 100%, come-rain-or-come-shine, every day.  Because if I missed one day, I very likely wouldn't make it back into the routine.  That's all it would take--one missed day.  Let alone seven.  And, for the second part, I don't feel like this lost week was such a big frickin' deal.  I was sick, I was unhappy, I just fell apart for a few days, and now I'm back.  So what?  And that's a pretty cool attitude for me to take, rather than to whip out the cat o' nine tails and go to town on myself. 

It's also 19 days until the Pumpkin Run...the little run that could.  I had meant to be getting out much sooner than this to start running out in the elements, as it were, on the sidewalk or on a trail, in the weather, rather than in a gym in the hamster wheel.  I am hoping to get an extra run in this week where I go the 4k distance and see how it feels.  Such a short distance, and yet it fills me with dread and excitement.  Sort of like climbing a really tiny Mount Everest.  Ah, back in the saddle...see you tomorrow!  I missed y'all!


  1. YAAAAY Erin, glad you're back! And somehow, seeing you come back from a down time is much more inspiring than, say, watching some pseudo-reality-show freak inhumanly do everything perfectly from beginning to end. You I can relate to, and as I've said before, it makes me think "well if Erin can do that, even after x y and z happens, maybe I can too!" I too have been known to throw the whole thing out the window after a relapse (smoking in my case). But maybe I'm really not doomed to smoke FOREVER just because that first pack I picked up again a couple months ago led to a second, third, fiftieth ... Today is just today, it doesn't have to be another in a series of failures, it can be whatever I choose. Thanks for reminding me, again. You rock, have rocked, and will rock on!

  2. ditto what Wendy said as she said it best. inspiring and hits me where I live - so to speak.